I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize