Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Let's paint friendship bongs
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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