If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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