so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
