Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
