In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
