Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
