You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
