Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
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