if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
