You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Randomize