im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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