you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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