So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
