Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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