We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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