I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
