Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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