I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
