I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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