At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
