listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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