after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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