I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Randomize
