I wish they made helmets for livers.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Randomize
