I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize