this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Randomize
