Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Dick very happy bro
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize