You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
