I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Randomize