SEEEEXXX PLEASE
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Randomize
