i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize