He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Randomize
