Don't you send me to vm
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
