never play flip cup with pint glasses
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
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