it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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