That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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