Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
It's blow job season.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
