At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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