I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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