Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
