"it" just moved
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Randomize