his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
