Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
