you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
