You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
