Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize