Who wears a wallet chain?!
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
