I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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