The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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