We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
