I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Randomize