be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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