grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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