your parents love me but you hate me
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
