Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
