if only i could text you this smell
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize
