Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Randomize
